Anal Beads for the Win


If winning is the end goal, competitors are ready to finesse the strategy to reach a desirable outcome. If shoving vibrating beads up the butt will help secure the winning position, a chess player was willing to bring down the trousers for the insertion.

A chess tournament at the Saint Louis Chess Club during the Sinquefield Cup, one of the longest-running chess tournaments in the United States, had viewers questioning the ethics behind the play. It was the final round of the Grand Chess Tour featuring talented chess players fighting for the $350,000 prize money.

In round three, Magnus Carlsen, 31, a chess veteran from Norway, faced off against Hans Niemann, 19, a young chess wiz from San Francisco. The crowd was speechless when Niemann beat Carlsen as they were expecting Carlsen to emerge as the champion.

Niemann in a contemptuous remark at one of the interviews said, “I think [Carlsen] was just so demoralized because he’s losing to an idiot like me. It must be embarrassing for the world champion to lose to me. I feel bad for him.”

Shortly after this interview, Carlsen tweeted that he had dropped out of the tournament. He added that he enjoys the Saint Louis Chess Club and looks forward to coming back.

This victory may be too good to be true for Niemann the child prodigy. American chess player Hikaru Nakamura created a YouTube video exposing Niemann of cheating to beat out the tough competitor. The video was sparking a debate with almost a million views.

People tweeted about the use of a vibrator to give him the edge on the competition. As one tweet wrote: “Currently obsessed with the notion that Hans Niemann has been cheating at the Sinquefield Cup chess tournament using wireless anal beads that vibrate him the correct moves.”

Elon Musk chimed in with his response to the tweet: “Talent hits a target no one else can hit, genius hits a target no one can see (cause it’s in ur butt).” Some people call Elon Musk a genius though.

To address these cheating allegations, Sinquefield Cup organizers began broadcasting the matches on a 15-minute delay and implementing further security measures.


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