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Come On Jerk, Care About My Circumcised Penis

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Penis drama gets intense as cops intervene to mitigate a violent situation.

Kyle Elias Perez, a 28-year-old man from Florida, was arrested for attacking his ex-boyfriend, 37-year-old, during an argument about penises. Yes, penises.

Perez and his ex-boyfriend shared a St. Petersburg residence. His partner jolted out of his sleep early morning when Perez screamed at him for “not having any compassion for [Perez’s] desire for uncircumcised penises.”

According to investigators, Perez is circumcised but expresses an intense longing for uncircumcised penises. His partner could not empathize with his needs, and the fight spiraled downhill.

The police officers say Perez grabbed the victim’s arm and punched his face. He was subject to “visible injuries to the arm and face.”

As if that was not enough, Perez started to pull on the victim’s hair and scratched his nails against his skin. These men were acting like young boys fighting during recess, except the cause of their fight sounds more absurd than any school fight.

When cops arrived at the residence, Perez ran away and hid behind a vehicle in an alley.

He finally made his way into custody, and during the investigation, he confessed to his actions and validated the victim’s story of the incident. They were indeed arguing about the uncircumcised penises.

Perez had charges against him for misdemeanor domestic battery, and he will be staying in county jail. He pleaded no contest to a DUI charge, and he received a sentence to probation. As part of his sentence, Perez must perform 50 hours of community service. His driver’s license will also be suspended for six months.

Source: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/stupid/uncut-battery-689531

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