New Loch Ness Monster Theory Involves Whale Willies


A new theory has been circulating over what the Loch Ness Moster could actually be and this one might just be the weirdest yet.

According to Michael Sweet, a marine biology expert, whale willies may be what the entire sea monster myth is based on. What if a sailor only saw a whale swimming close to the surface and getting a bit of fresh air on his penis? Stranger things have happened.

In a thread on Twitter, Sweet broke down his reasoning: “This is where many sea monster stories come from ie. tentacled and alienesque appendages emerging from the water – giving belief to something more sinister lurking beneath….however, in many cases it was just whale d***s.

“Whales often mate in groups so while one male is busy with the female the other male just pops his dick out of the water while swimming around waiting his turn. Everyone’s gotta have a bit of fun, right?

“One female whale is typically paired with a primary escort (male) and a group of males will try to fight for their right to overthrow the escort and earn mating rights. A competition pod can have just a handful of whales or a larger group of 12-15.”

More than 1,000 spottings of the Loch Ness Monster have been made since records have been kept with interest peaking in the 1930s when the infamous photo of the sea creature appeared. Sightings have even been reported as early as the sixth century.

Although Sweet has a convincing enough theory, many people didn’t agree with the expert. Author Tony Harmsworth went as far as to call Sweet “an ignorant fool.”

He said: “The man’s ignorance of the environment at Loch Ness is astounding. Any large air breather would have been easily identified.

“There is no whale in Loch Ness.

“His ignorance of the mystery is equally astounding.

“He is comparing the whales’ penises with a photograph which was discredited thirty years ago as a hoax.

“So, my expert opinion is he is an ignorant fool!”


Related Content