Sanitize Baby Bums With Cocaine


Hold up, that’s not baby wipes? Unless you want to shove cocaine up a baby’s butthole, you will have better luck tracking down wipes elsewhere. A shipment of baby wipes discovered at the U.S. and Mexico border revealed a delivery of something other than innocent infant products.

Officials found $11.8 million worth of cocaine and U.S. Customs and Border Protection officers seized the narcotics at the Colombia-Solidarity Bridge. Officers from CBP’s Office of Field Operations redirected a suspicious trailer truck for the second round of inspections.

Although the truck drivers claimed to be carrying only baby wipes, a close examination revealed more sensational illegal goods. Officials took a peek inside the truck and found 1,935 packages with around 1,533 pounds of alleged cocaine.

Alberto Flores, the port director at the Laredo Port of Entry, said: “This seizure is a prime example of border security management and how it helps prevent dangerous narcotics from reaching our communities.” Pat on the back to the border officers.

To the naive parents, that’s not baby powder mistakenly sent in the baby wipes shipment. We can hold off on the drugs. Babies can experiment with narcotics when they grow into reckless adults — let us spare them their vital early development years.


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