A bomb scare is enough to get people panicking for their lives and fleeing the scene. An 88-year-old patient visited Hospital Sainte Musse in Toulon to have an old explosive removed from inside of his rectum.
A walking human bomb got the hospital shut down as an emergency. “An emergency occurred from 9 p.m. to 11:30 p.m. on Saturday evening that required the intervention of bomb disposal personnel, the evacuation of adult and pediatric emergencies as well as the diversion of incoming emergencies,” a hospital spokesperson said.
The hospital was partially evacuated after the man entered the hospital with a World War I buried in his rectum. “We had to manage the risk in a reactive framework,” the rep added. “When in doubt, we took all the precautions.”
Bomb disposal experts assured the medical team that the bomb will not explode. “They reassured us by telling us that it was a collector’s item from the First World War, used by the French military,” the hospital stated.
Shocked doctors kicked off the surgery by removing the bomb, which measured almost 8 inches long and more than two inches wide, from the man’s rectum.
For those curious, there is no epic heroic tale behind this finding. He didn’t get this object stuck while trying to save the lives of civilians. Rather, he shoved the item up his anus for sexual pleasure so there is nothing selfless about this discovery.
The horny senior needs a better object for masturbation. “An apple, a mango, or even a can of shaving foam, we are used to finding unusual objects inserted where they shouldn’t be,” one doctor said. “But a shell? Never!”
Doctors cut open his abdomen in order to remove the bomb and he’s making full recovery post-surgery.