Kilt-Wearing Man Caught Shoving Antiques Up His Butt

The one place you don’t want to find an antique is up someone’s behind. A kilt-wearing Texas man decided it would be a good idea to take items from vendors at an antique mall and place them up his butt before returning them.

According to the Harris County Constable Precinct 4 Office, several citizens allegedly witnessed a man taking items from vendors at the Antique Outlet Mall in Texas and placing them “in his rectum,” then returning them to the shelves.

Some of the items the man, later identified as Michael C. Vest, stuck up his butt were a makeup brush, a tool used for restoration, a bottle opener and a tobacco tent can. The incidents all ended up being captured on surveillance cameras as well.

Apparently, the defiled antiques were worth $204 in total and were later thrown out. Antique Gallery manager Susan Golden said she believed Vest had visited the shop previously and had spent several hours shopping.

“I was just really in shock,” said Golden. “I just didn’t really know what to say or think.”

The 60-year-old man was arrested and later released from Harris County Jail after posting a $100 personal bond.