The ’80s were a weird time.
Instead of shopping for everything online, we gathered a bunch of different stores under one big roof, and everyone hung out there on the weekends. Sometimes you wouldn’t even buy anything. These places were called “shopping malls.”
Also in the ’80s, we were super-into futuristic stuff, like time-traveling DeLoreans, and also robots. Countless movies were made featuring futuristic robots. But because it was the ’80s, nobody had the foresight to predict what actual futuristic robots would look like. So we got Johnny 5 from “Short Circuit”, the horrible jittery spider bots from “Runaway” and the Happy Birthday Paulie Robot from “Rocky IV.” Basically large rolling trash cans, with weird toaster-sized heads glued on top.
Also, there was a fascination with punishing teens for having premarital sexual relations, usually with a swift and brutal death at the hands of an inhuman cypher.
Combine all of those things, in the most unintentionally hilarious way possible, and you have “Chopping Mall.” 75 minutes of annoying teen archetypes, being stalked by robot mall cops — ROBO-BLARTS — with some crazy hijinks along the way.
But will we GET THE FLICK OUTTA HERE? Only one way to find out.
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